Catching up, Letting Go and Stepping Off

I can't get over, sometimes, exactly how fast time flies. Sure, everyone laughs about it now and again- but it's really not funny! I can't believe it's been this long since I have posted (I thought I just posted last week!) I can't believe that my son is getting his drivers permit (it WAS yesterday that I bought the bicycle with the training wheels- I know it was!) and I can't believe that I have been at the same heartless job for over twelve years! (but more on that later).

I figured I would simply start this post off with a stunning photo of the roses that bloomed last week. They are crawling up my chimney- the remarkable thing about these roses is that last year they were a stick. And of course I was determined to save them. I ate bananas for a week and buried the skins around the base of the poor little "charlie brown" bush- I have created a monster! It has grown over 10 feet tall and as of this writing, has approximately 25 flowers/buds on it... Now that is Awesome! So - something pretty to look at while I babble for a while.I am horribly behind in my award acceptance. These past weeks I have received some of the most touching tags and awards from the most amazing and supportive people here in Bloglandia. And I just want to give a shout out and a huge THANK YOU to Heather, Sonia :o) and Luz- You gals are amazing! I will be back to address each of these awards individually, as some of them are quite complicated- and I'm going to need to focus! :o)

So, to the catching up part: well, I could write a book on my experiences over the past two weeks- but I am not sure whether it would be considered a self-help, a how-to or a dramatic comedy. Everything comes in sets- both good and bad. it is that constant chaos that reminds us that we are alive, I suppose- and not to take things for granted. Stop taking everything so seriously- It really is too short. I am not going to go into detail- no one really needs to have that much heartache- let me just say that this week past- one of the most amazing women on the planet; gentle, devoted, generous, funny, loving, encouraging, inspiring, wild and courageous- and the mother of my best friend in the whole world- lost her war with cancer and left this world. And the world is not a better place for her passing, and she will be missed so severely. And to say that my heart aches for her family and those that remain is an understatement. And that is all I have to say about that.

Now I could tell you about the paintings that I have heading to Atlanta for a gallery showing, or the book I will be published in, in the fall- I could even go on about the shops in New York that will be carrying my art this summer. And I will, it just doesn't seem very important at this moment, in comparison to other goings on. I will come back to them in future posts- as they come due, and get closer- I am trying to get better with the whole "salesman" shoes I have to make fit some how - and I will be coming to all of you and seeing how you get past the whole scaredy-cat, hate talking about what I do art-wise - there it is - go buy something approach to promoting your goods. For now though, there is something bigger...

Sometimes, though it may be a bit cliche-ish, it takes the slap in the face fragality of life to wake you up- it takes something that huge, that earth shattering to put things back into perspective. Through the clouds of heartache and anger and tears break the rays of clarity. It can bring you back around full circle to a reality check that includes phrases such as... What the hell am I doing? This is not where I wanted to be. or perhaps- You can't be serious, you really think THAT is important? Sometimes- there may even be an occasional- What exactly is it that I am waiting for? What am I so afraid of? and if you are super lucky- and very courageous, a bit giddy and dare I say, a touch daring-(or daft- depending on who you are talking to) it is followed by a very loud, very confident

.........................I QUIT!................
I can honestly say that I have done just about every job out there. I have trained horses for Olympians and have been a grocery clerk, I have worked a farm, run a dive shop, a record shop, an ice cream shop (yeah - that was yummy!) I have shoveled crap, cleaned toilets, scrubbed floors. I have worked as a pantry chef and a seafood chef, a waitress and a bartender, a movie theatre manager, been a mobile dj and a manager of a radio station. For the life of me - I can't figure out how the universe led me to a career in law, but for the past 12 years, I have worked in a law office; first as a temp, then a paralegal, then an office administrator. Somewhere along the line, I sold out. I admit it. I am not proud of it, but there it is. And what a loveless career. Well- it all ends. After twelve years of dreaming I have finally gone and stepped off that edge. Finally. I have the job I have always wanted, always dreamed about, yearned for and was fundamentally too scared to pursue. Imagine this. I am a self-employed artist. whew. Ain't that the shit! Scared? sure, a little- but the excitement of it all is intoxicating. So hang on- it's going to be an amazing, fabulous, exciting and creative ride from here on out! WHOOT!